Friday, 20 July 2012

WhileYou Were/Are Sleeping (Pick up the slack you loafer!)

  It's weird to me how one second your all up and awake and walking around doing stuff then for some crazy reason your body weakens and wants to lie down in a dust mite metropolis and go offline for hours on end. Its called sleep and we all do it, all animals anyway and I think that I've even seen microbes and bacteria catch a few winks on disease documentaries when you see them hanging out in the petrie dish in the lab.

  So apparently your body is tired and needs to rest but we still carry on doing some things in our sleep. Sleep talking, sleep walking, sleep peeing and sleep thinking (dreams people!) the sleepy time world is nearly as active as the waking world except it's lying down and has a lot more flannel clothing involved.

  If humans can do one or two functions already while sleeping I can't see why they can't sleep WORK also. Stuffing envelopes, folding clothes and knitting are just three great lying down jobs where you might earn a whole extra pay packet as you dream your little dreams PLUS you can talk and pee too, I'm not the boss of you, if you want to stretch your legs a go for a sleep walk on your own time no biggie here.

  I'm sure there's a dangerous cocktails of medicines and possible medical procedures on the brain to float this amazing plan of mine but I'm sure anybody who has partners with chronic snoring problems would be only too happy to volunteer their loved ones for run of trial experiments. 

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Keeping Up Affearences

  Here's some dumb/weird events that I think might happen in the future. I'm really hoping that if I share them here it might somehow disrupt some time space continuum and stop them from ever happening. Feel free to laugh but remember if you do and then in the future ever share a dumb fear with me I will dump a yoghurt over your head, this isn't a traditional form of mockery but one i just personally enjoy.

a) About once a week I imagine the Sun will have some sort of celestial coughing fit and blow all the atmosphere from the Earth, obviously then everything on the planet dies pretty much instantly after floating about for a second.

b) A time traveler pop in. This is the scenario where your having a completely normal day until a person from the future pops in and the I guess you have to entertain them somehow (tea?) and heed all their boring warnings about being greener in the home and all that jazz.

c) The magnetic poles switch. I've heard this happens every 100 000 years or so and it's no biggie but it sounds scary and so it bothers me plus how will whales and other animals that use magnetic currents know which way is what? A lot of angry confused creatures around I think.

d) No more free to air television. Not a colossal problem but even though 99% of free to air television is pure garbage it feels nice to get the 1% that I watch for free.  

  Ok, that's all for now, I do have more but I know a few of you will begin to worry about these also so I'll lay a few of them on you at a time.