Friday, 23 March 2012

Part 5 - It All Goes to Compost

  Recording for their first album went great, the boys spent each morning working in the tulip fields then after a hearty lunch took to the studio and recorded one awesome gardening themed track after another till 9p.m. when a cheese supper was served before bed. At the end of their stay at the farm the guys had a great debut album and a full understanding of modern tulip propagation, not to mention a fully recharged batteries that were ready to rock. 'Enough Grapefruits for the Whole Class?' debuted at Number 8 but after 2 weeks rose right to the Top of the Pops, the first wave of success is a crazy time for any musician and being Spring also for any young gardener as the boys were swamped with fan mail asking for autographs and seeds from a pumpkin grown by Brian himself were reportedly being sold on the black-market for 20 pounds each! On the back of this massive U.K. success 'Three Peas in a Pod' and the Captain set off to conquer America.

  Night after night, gig after gig the band covered the whole continental United States bravely keeping up the appearance of being a great young band on the rise but underneath a darker truth was starting to surface Ali had been sniffing fertiliser for years socially but with the enormous success of the group his ''hobby'' had now become a full blown addiction, Pots was also having his own problems after a trip to do a couple of shows in Hawaii he had met the girl of his dreams on a orchard plantation for a photo shoot and now he was backing touring all the time he had trouble focusing on the music and longed to get back to the islands again but Brian himself faced the most heinous challenge of all…fishing! During the Hawaii trip a local millionaire took the boys out on his yacht compelled to be a good guest Brian agreed to wet a line at his hosts request and found he really loved it. Brian now thought of only one thing, fish and fishing, sort of two things really. A blessing in disguise came when Ali burst through the door of the hotel the band was staying at in Acron, Ohio, ''He gone the bastard!'' he exclaimed, ''Who has?'' said Pots and Brian in unison, ''The Captain, he's been collecting our fees in cash and hiding it as padding in his scarecrow outfit, now he's skipped to Mexico to start some hydroponic business with all our money!''

  The boys said nothing, there was nothing to say, they knew the circumstances had colluded to end their musical dream. The boys finished their last six dates in America which gave them just enough money to get back to the U.K. except for Pots he headed straight for Hawaii and marriage where he still lives as one of the finest orchid geneticists in his field. Ali's fertiliser sniffing got a lot worse before he eventually checked himself into rehab in the late 90s, he now runs a small cottage garden nursery outside of Norwich. For Brian fishing was now his only passion, all his songwriting royalties were spent on the finest gear, rods and lures and he began travelling the globe looking to catch as many species of gamefish as he could. So did fishing destroy the dream lifestyle of rock and soil for Brian?  Gardening by day and music by night, I don't think so, he reached the peak of his profession the only way to go was down, but he went sideways into another profession to avoid ever being seen as a failure or sell out well played young man, and we still have his music forever even if his vegetables are long eaten.

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