Saturday, 23 July 2011

What I got that he has not

I been weighing up my career against some of my musical peers and it looks a little grim. If I consider Justin Biebers continuing rise to mega-star boy billionaire status against my modest accomplishments and it looks at best, tragic.
Some might say my talent shortfall is a determining factor but I've decided promotion and marketing is where I'm really falling short so:

10 Valid Reasons I'm Superior to Justin Bieber

1. I'm 10-12cm taller. I can get spare condiments down from the top shelf with relative ease.
2. I don't need security when I leave home, mainly because I always wear a disguise of a fattening bald guy.
3. I don't play drums in my spare time or ever.
4. I save dozens of dollars on hair care products every year.
5. Getting mobbed by frenzied ladies is a thing of the past thankfully!
6. I'm not constantly bugged by calls from Usher saying ''What up Biebz?'' or ''How's it goschizzling?''
7. All of my clothes are ironing free which saves so much time for working on my dance routine.
8. My dance routine has 20 extra pelvic thrusts in 2011.
9. All my shows are totally free (gold coin donation appreciated)
10. I mainly say ''Baby'' when referring to a baby and then not repeatedly.

Leave the 'Bieber Army' and sign up to be a 'Dan Fan' today for a free signed passport photo (while stocks last).

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