Saturday, 22 October 2011

8 Fun and EZ Ways To Annoy Others

I bet I got you rankled already? 8 ways? Why not 10 or 20? This is my theory exactly, annoy people mildly and when they least expect avoiding conflict and going to bed knowing you've made a difference in a small but negative way.

1. Mispronouncing words - Particularly effective with people you have regular contact with. Try ''vee-hickle'' for vehicle or ''Eye-talian'' instead of Italian, if you can't see the steam rising just use ''aks'' in place of ask for a week but this may induce a seizure.

2. ''Accidental'' Smudging - Wife or Mother hate her shiny surfaces too have greasy hand prints all over them? You may not like this either? But you have a score too settle so leave one or two beauties each day and fein ignorance when you get yelled at.

3. Talk Radio - Even on short journeys there usually an opportunity to get in a a few annoyance licks by shouting back at the broadcast, ''Oh c'mon!'' is great for sport and singing the wrong lyrics to Beatles songs always gets results.

4. Shortfall - Leave an unusable amount of toilet paper on the roll, every time.

5. Two's company - If anybody borrows an item from you always announce ''Remember that's a boomerang'' after they go say too all ''Ha, I always say that'' it's called  the double barrel and I highly recommend it.

6. Recurring Compliment - Tell the same person every time you see them they look like they're losing weight, trust me, it's a creeper, they'll hate you eventually.

7. Breath-less - It takes practise but if you can master a nose whistle or weird off beat breathing style it could be a valuable weapon in your arsenal.

8. A Bow Tie - Just wear a bow tie.

I know some of you have been victims too these methods but knowledge is power, now go get some revenge, it feels great . 

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