What if everybody could have one of those really happy dogs with two tails? Or feed the world's starving people with chicken flavoured whales? Be awesome hey?
And that's why a crack team of scientists are taking genetic engineering to the max to try solve these annoying problems and ensure continuing research funds.
My sources in Europe have reported back with a few of the secret projects that will make for a plumper, quicker, fluorescent, salt reduced, longer lasting, gluten free, essential oil enriched tomorrow.
* Sheep taste nice, produce wool and milk but tend to buckle under the weight of even an average humans weight but new 'Travel Sheep' are bigger and sturdier and can go 20 kilometres on one bunch of spinach, comes in four new exciting colours too!
* ''Mommy Goldy's dead!'' it's the sentence no parent ever likes to hear, that's why cockroach DNA has been inserted into the common goldfish to create the 'Goldroach' it's virtually indestructible and can even live without a head for a week although that's horrible obviously.
* I like seedless watermelon but hey, sometimes I like the challenge of a seeded melon experience, the 'Half and Half Melon' kills two birds with one fruit.
* I have a Justin Bieber wig as I'm sure you all do too, but it's going to wear out quickly with constant use, enter the the 'Bieber Wig Guinea Pig' , can be easily trained to sit quietly on your dome by attaching a treat dish to your forehead.
Hooray DNA research! It's the family friendly side of the Mad Scientist's community.