Monday 6 June 2011

Make People Like You

or Winning at friends and influencing your peeps.

Now no one wants to die alone, it's a simple truth that's hardwired into the human psyche like wanting to pinch babies cheeks or avoiding people collecting for charity, it just makes good sense. As we grow older our bodies wear out and we look towards partners, friends and family to take up the slack and often take up our slacks if going to the toilet has become a issue.
A problem shared is a problem halved, for you that is, the person helping you now has one whole new problem, which brings me to the nub of my gist, that is how to drag others into your aging pain spiral by making them like you:

1. Consensus - In conversation whenever someone disagrees with you try this sentence '' Hmm, now I think about it your right! What rubbish was I thinking? How'd you get so smart AND attractive?''.  The only thing folks like more than being right all the time is being told their right and attractive all the time.

2. The Neverending Shout - Some people are quite easy to train using treats, in this case alcoholic beverages. One they have associated your face with free booze your friendship is guaranteed. 

3. Dangle the Dollars - ''I'm single, getter older and have all your pension money stowed away but who will be the beneficiary on my demise?'' Make sure throw this sentence in at all social gatherings and watch your Inbox fill with invitations for dinner! 

Delete 'Loneliness XP' and install 'Popularity Vista' today! 

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